A pregnancy means that you are growing
maybe in every way possible
maybe the balloon your body are turning
into
is filled not only by a baby
but by tears
tears and questions
maybe it's suppose to break you down
break you down so far that you can
finally
start to build something
from the beginning
yourself
your newborn baby
your own family
For me, there are no pink clouds.
I'm happy that everyone around me is
happy for this
But, for me, there is mostly just
a certain kind of pain in my body
the overwhelming pain
of growing
of looking yourself in the mirror
asking all the hard questions
facing
everything you've ever been
everything you can become
and simply (and as hard as it gets):
yourself
Beacuse let's face it
to be a mother is probably the biggest
challenge
you'll ever get
and there are no escapedoors
no running
it's staying through the struggles
and simply staying
right there for your child
through every storm
but what about when you are the storm?
what do you do the moments when
the storm you are trying to protect your child from
is you?
the storm you are trying to protect your child from
is you?
thank you
love/mom