Saturday, December 10, 2016

Ode to my husband


Sometimes you face things that hurts
sometimes life seems to spin around so fast
with one problem after the other
that all you really want to do is scream
just to get the hurt inside to dissapear

and sometimes in the middle of all that
you need to take care of your family
so what happens when both parents feels like this?

I sometimes take the anger and frustration out on my husband
and so does he
but somehow in all the misery
we manage to
laugh

we manage to laugh at the misery
or at something totally different
but the point is that it helps
it helps to have someone that makes you
smile

someone that makes you feel like
there is light in the world
a little light or a pair of arms
sitting right besides you
waiting to catch you
when you
fall

So I guess this a big thank you to my husband
he drives me crazy but somehow he always manages to
make me
smile

Thank you
Love/ Mom







Saturday, December 3, 2016

Thank you mom



It's this new thing with being a parent
I force myself to smile
even the the days when I feel
miserable
I use to have days where I just did
nothing
as in lying in the couch watching
series
or just lying in my bed

So what do you do with those days
when you have a child that can't manage to be
alone?

You get up, do your routines with your child
and then smile until you mean it

Its an upside and an downside with that fact

the downside is that sometimes I feel like a
terrible mother
longing to
just
be
alone

to
just
get
some
rest

the upside is that it mostly works
my child constantly brings me back to
now
not
the past
or
the future
but simply
now

It doesn't matter that I don't do it for me
If I smile than somehow it feels better
(at least sometimes)

And there's another thing with realizing this
suddenly I see my own mom with another kind of eyes
suddenly I see the struggle and the determination
that she and every other good parent have
to during any circumstance
do all that's in your power for
your child

So
thank you mom
for always doing the best you can
Thank you
Love/ Mom


Friday, November 25, 2016

Some days (worries and fears)


Some days you are so busy trying to do everything
right
that all you do is everything
wrong

you keep worrying about
every
single
thing
Instead of just
being there

at least I do

Some days I forget to enjoy it
forget to enjoy my childs beautiful
eyes
forget to enjoy that adorable
smile
forget to just
be there

but when I do remember
when I just sit to watch my sons fascination
fascination of the world itself
then sometimes
If im lucky
all the worries and fears just
go away
if I'm lucky
I go from worrying about what kind of mother I
should be
to simply just being a mother
spening time with her child

Thank you
Love/mom









Friday, November 18, 2016

Ode to the parents



I'm not sure what to write about today
I'm an overtired mom who just put my son to bed
who should do the dishes and make food for tomorrow
who shouldn't do any of the above
who should just
sleep

Basicly I'm like any other mom
doing her best to be a good
mother
wife
and friend


Sometimes I don't succed
does that make me less of a person?
does that make me bad?
can it be ok
to just say
no I'm to tired?

People keep telling me that its a part of it
the no sleep part
does that make it easy?
does that mean that I always need to
stay put
and say
no worries?

Yesterday i cried on the bathroom floor
simply beacuse I was
to exhausted
to do otherwise

Simply beacuse sometimes
I think that I'll never ever be
good enough

Mothers do that
probably fathers to
but that's not what we see
and that s not what we show
beacuse somehow we are all just suppose to
hang in there

So to all good mothers and fathers out there
to all of you who keeps struggling
to be a good parent
to all of you who would do anything
to keep your child safe and sound
though you're exhausted

You are good enough
actually
you are moore than that
you are a
superhero

so give yourself som credit, ok?

Thank you
Love/
Mom










Sunday, November 13, 2016

Everyday superheroes

Hi.

All day father played with his children, along with his wife.
That night, after he had put his son to bed, they both cuddled up in the sofa.
The next day he got up and took care of everything in the spirit of everyday hero he and every other good father is.

Mtfbwy
/ Zendad










Friday, November 11, 2016

Ode to the child



I'm not sure what to answer
when my stepson asks 
why we can't all live together
him
me
his dad
and his mother

I don't know what to say
when he tells me and his dad
that he is afraid that we are going to fight
beacuse if we do
we are going to get divorced

I admire all the children
who has been in the middle of a divorce
all those kids who
somehow
survived
it

I admire how they adjust
living in two homes
two worlds
that sometimes
is totally different from each other

I understand
sometimes
you get it wrong
sometimes
you did all you could
but
still can't be happy together

I understand that divorce
is sometimes the best choice

But I also see this little kid
who never asked for any of it
who just happened to be
in the middle
of
a
big
bloody

mess

Thank you
love/Mom





Friday, November 4, 2016

The boy with the lovely eyes



The little boy with the lovely eyes
is crawling around in the world now
terrified that I will dissapear

There's a lot to take in
when the world suddenly turns bigger
I can see it in his eyes
and hear it in his shout

I'm exhausted
as most mothers are
somedays i'm jealous at my husband
for having his freedom
his alonetime
and i wonder what i did with mine
before my son was born

But then It hits me
I might be exhausted and scared
but all that fear
all that exhaustion
is probably nothing
compared to what he is feeling
the little boy with the lovely eyes

Its not easy
it probably never will be
I'm not perfect
I will probably bite my tounge
so I won't shout at him some nights

Maybe my biggest mission as a mother
isn't to have all the answers
to do everything right
maybe my biggest mission
is to just
be there

be there
and constantly prove
that I won't ever leave
the boy with the lovely eyes