Some days

Some days I wonder what I'm doing
what I gave myself into

five in the morning
walking around in the neighbourhood with the stroller
pissed of that my son woke up
cause I know him good enough to know
that he is still tired

lunchtime
trying to get him to eat some food
while he loudly scream as a protest
(how  do you get a baby to start eating food?)

nightime
when he wakes up almost once an hour
keeping me from sleeping

Somedays I have absoluteley no idea
how to do this

how to raise kids who are happy and safe
but not
spoiled and ungrateful

how to have more than one kid at home
and still make everyone feel
special
and
loved

when I look at it everyone else seems to have it all
so put together
so wellworking

but then again, how could they?

maybe we are all just really good actors?

and if we are then why?

why can't we just admit it?

there is no freekin dictonary for how to be a parent
there is no "control"
there is just improvising
and praying to who/whatever you believe in
that you get something right


Thank you
Love/
mom