Everyday superheroes

Hi.

All day father played with his children, along with his wife.
That night, after he had put his son to bed, they both cuddled up in the sofa.
The next day he got up and took care of everything in the spirit of everyday hero he and every other good father is.

Mtfbwy
/ Zendad

Ode to the child

I'm not sure what to answer

when my stepson asks 

why we can't all live together

him
me

his dad

and his mother

I don't know what to say

when he tells me and his dad
that he is afraid that we are going to fight
beacuse if we do

we are going to get divorced

I admire all the children

who has been in the middle of a divorce

all those kids who
somehow

survived
it

I admire how they adjust

living in two homes

two worlds

that sometimes

is totally different from each other

I understand
sometimes

you get it wrong

sometimes
you did all you could

but
still can't be happy together

I understand that divorce

is sometimes the best choice

But I also see this little kid

who never asked for any of it

who just happened to be

in the middle

of
a
big

bloody

mess

Thank you
love/Mom

The boy with the lovely eyes

The little boy with the lovely eyes
is crawling around in the world now
terrified that I will dissapear

There's a lot to take in
when the world suddenly turns bigger
I can see it in his eyes
and hear it in his shout

I'm exhausted
as most mothers are
somedays i'm jealous at my husband
for having his freedom
his alonetime
and i wonder what i did with mine
before my son was born

But then It hits me
I might be exhausted and scared
but all that fear
all that exhaustion
is probably nothing
compared to what he is feeling
the little boy with the lovely eyes

Its not easy
it probably never will be
I'm not perfect
I will probably bite my tounge
so I won't shout at him some nights

Maybe my biggest mission as a mother
isn't to have all the answers
to do everything right
maybe my biggest mission
is to just
be there

be there
and constantly prove
that I won't ever leave
the boy with the lovely eyes

Some days

Some days I wonder what I'm doing
what I gave myself into

five in the morning
walking around in the neighbourhood with the stroller
pissed of that my son woke up
cause I know him good enough to know
that he is still tired

lunchtime
trying to get him to eat some food
while he loudly scream as a protest
(how  do you get a baby to start eating food?)

nightime
when he wakes up almost once an hour
keeping me from sleeping

Somedays I have absoluteley no idea
how to do this

how to raise kids who are happy and safe
but not
spoiled and ungrateful

how to have more than one kid at home
and still make everyone feel
special
and
loved

when I look at it everyone else seems to have it all
so put together
so wellworking

but then again, how could they?

maybe we are all just really good actors?

and if we are then why?

why can't we just admit it?

there is no freekin dictonary for how to be a parent
there is no "control"
there is just improvising
and praying to who/whatever you believe in
that you get something right


Thank you
Love/
mom

The beauty of being a mother

The other day I had the privilege to sing on a funeral

it was for a young man, 

younger than myself

who died of cancer.

I watched his family say goodbye to him 

watched his mother lean on her loved ones

barely standing up straight

as she said her farewell by the coffin

then I went to get my son

took him aside 

laughed and cried 

at the same time 

thankful that he is ok 

the same night 

i watched my son sleep 

watched his tiny chest

moving up and down 

just feeling lucky 

and terrified

all at once 

what If I loose him?

what If he looses me?

the agony and beauty 

of being a mother 

It all becomes so fragile

it all becomes so terrifying 

but it all also

becomes so 

beautiful. 

Thank you 

Love/ Mom 

A good parent

When do you become a mother?
is it the day a fetus starts to grow inside you
the day you give birth to a child
or the moment you realize
with your whole body
that you are a mother?

I use to think that you have to
act like a parent to be one
is that true?
and can't a parent be anyone
around a child
who takes responsibility for it like
a mother or a father should?

every question leads to the next question

but the biggest question of them all must be
what is a good parent?
and are you ever
 a good enough parent?


Love/
Mom

Our family

Hi.

Time flies, as you say.
And you have no idea what consequenses your actions will have
all your efforts
all the struggles
will my child turn up ok?
will he feel important and loved?
I don't know

but now moore than ever
I fel like I'm a part of something beautiful
part of a family

and what ive learned the past months
moore than ever
is how important it is to smile and have fun
together
there is no perfection
but there is
love
and
forgiveness

with that said I just want to share some  pictures
of my dear family
I love them all, even on my worst days.

love/ mom