About being greatful

Somedays, as a pregnant women, you're mostly complaining.
Or at least youre mostly terrified.
But then comes the days that you are grateful. The days when you actually seem to be able to see the magic of what you are going through. One of those days, for me, were when I got too see  the baby that is growing inside of me on a screen.
When we sat there I was mostly nervous, so nervous that i didn't ask any qustions and neither did the women who did the ultrasoundcheckup. Since this led to us not knowing wich sex our baby is, it made me pissed off for the whole carride home.

But, the mainthing is, i got to see the heart of my baby beat.
I got to se it move, and this, my friends, is something i couldn't be more greatful for.

Another of those days, was when i got a note from my stepson, handwritten by himself.

And let's face it, it's not always easy to be a stepmom. When something is wrong it's mostly me who gets the blame and the yelling. I'm the one who gets tested, i'm the one who gets the trial. Mostly because i'm the one who has the choice to leave him more then his real parents do.
That's how it works.
But with this note, from a happy soon to be big brother, from a little boy who happily tells me that i soon will be a mom for real, I'm greatful in a way that is hard to describe.

It basicly says, first of all, that it's from Jesper (my stepsons name) and then something like:

”I'm waiting for you to get your baby, Jannica.” 

Thank you.

Love/ Mom 

It's all good practice

Hi.

Right.

So i am, apparently, going to be a dad, again.

Here are some initial questions to get us starting...

We all know how babies are made, but how about fathers?

When a child is born a mother is born, but what about the father?

And AGAIN?

I mean, how many times am i going to be a dad?

Can't i just stay a dad?

Why am i always going to, and where is this place i am going to?

On tuesday we get to go for ultrasoundcheckup and it will be the first real evidence of the something growing.

I imagine the impact that will have on us, as parents, family, and the people around us.

Foremost i think it will have an impact on my son, as he gets an picture of what is happening, and what is coming.

Whatever happens at the ultrasoundcheckup, and what we find out, its all good practice.

Or as another zenmaster always says, ”Shit happens- good fertilizer.”

And between you and me, i hope i get to do more things like this.

But if not, ”Its all good practice.”

Thank you for your practice.

May the force be with you

Zendad

The basic stuff ( a list)

So to the basic stuff. To the list over things that makes you notice that youre actually pregnant. The things that you suddenly seem to have/do. Sort of like new temporary superpowers and new interesting ways of life.

* You suddenly feel like you have a 6^th sense: An extreme improvement of being able to smell everything that you before the pregnancy didn't even noticed had a smell at all. The downside is that most of it makes you want to puke.

* The ability to start laughing so hard that it makes you cry, and when you start crying you start laughing at the fact that youre crying. It's a bit scary but at the same time hilarious.

* The loss of aptite the first three months leads to the superpower of being able to basicly live on swedish rye bread with different things on it and for the need of fat: a bag of chips.

* The fact that you can blame your moody days on your pregnancyhormones.

There is probably more to add to the list, but this is what i can think of for the moment. I hope you enjoyed it :)

Love/

Mom

P.S
Of course this is my own subjective experience, i heard it's different for everyone, but what do I know? ;)